Enduring the pain
As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light, "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way. After so much suffering, after enduring so much sacrifice and embraced by the people, what is it that I still can't be happy and move on in life, yet I'm still stuck here. Yes, I want to be happy and move on in life with my daily routines and not being sad/frustrated everyday. Sigh, I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it. But how are we gonna stop enduring all this shit in our life? It's parts and parcels of life, part of growing up. Well, I gotta start making use of my life, buck up with my studies, treausre and cherish those around me, and most importantly, I gotta think positive so I need not worry so much, be sad all the time. I just wanna live life being happy all the time. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
Lixin bbg, cheer up. I know how you really feel right now, and that's what I'm going through the past weeks. It's pain, hurtful, heartwrenching. But what is done can't be undone. I wouldn't wanna see you in this situation, i'm always here. Luv'ya!
WELCOME
AUTOBIOGRAPHY
you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you.
It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or
colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.
Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who
they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been
achieved otherwise. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder
what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever. Life is about trusting our feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating
the memories and learning from the past. Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness.
Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
So, cherish your yesterdays and dream your tomorrows, but most importantly, don't forget to live your today's. I'm selfish, impatient
and a little insecure. I make mistakes, and when I am out of control at times, it's hard to handle. I'm only me. That is all I can be. No more, no less,
dont second guess. I love, I live, I laugh, I cry. I've wished sometimes that I could die. Some days I'm funny, others I'm not, sometimes I'm in overdrive and I can't stop.
You may not like me, but that's okay because this is me and how I'll stay. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as well
don't deserve me at my best. I turn a year older on every 11th of June. Don't try to judge me if you don't know me well.
"Pamper me like a princess and I'll promise to be your good girl."
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